You Are My Television

I don’t watch television. I know a lot of people say that, but it’s true. I don’t watch TV. There are a couple of shows that I’ll catch now and again, usually on late night reruns when I can’t sleep. Not being able to sleep comes less frequently now than it once did, so I don’t watch nearly as much television as I used to watch, before.

When I’m alone, the TV is noise. It’s background and filler. It’s an overhead conversation, eavesdropping on melodrama, commercial jingles that stick in my head and refuse to leave, “What would you do-o-o….” to get this song out of my head?

It’s comforting, because it fills the quiet when I am alone. I feel like someone is here with me, talking to me. It fills in the lonely gaps during the day. It makes me feel like I’m interacting with someone.

You are my television. You are my snippets of conversation that make the stretches of silence easy to bear and welcome. You are the flashes of light that I cuddle up with at night when I got to sleep so I don’t need the ones on the screen. You are the song that plays in my head that I can’t get the tune to quit haunting me, and I want to both curse the tune and yet am captivated by it in a way that makes me smile when I hear it replay over and over.

When you are not here, the television fills that void. I don’t watch TV. I sit and wait for you to come home to me, and the TV keeps me company while I wait. It is my companion. It shares with me secrets of fiction lives and stories that keep me occupied because while I am here alone,  my own life feels monotonous and boring and I have no stories of my own to tell.

You are my stories. You are the one I want to tell my stories to, share my life with, the one who inspires me to tell my own fiction stories inside of my head.

There’s a line in an Eagle’s song that says, “Empty pages and a frozen pen…” that’s me, when you’re not here. You fill my pages. You move my pen. You inspire me and motivate me to do more, be more, have more, want more.

You. You are my television. I don’t watch TV.

by Michy

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5 comments to You Are My Television

  • Rissa  says:

    Beautiful.

  • Tweets that mention You Are My Television -- Topsy.com  says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by MichelleLDevon. MichelleLDevon said: You Are My Television: http://blog.twintrinity.com/2010/04/15/you-are-my-television/ […]

  • Cynthia Schuerr  says:

    Hi Michelle,
    I love your site. I can’t believe I am just now finding my way over here. It is just beautiful!
    Warm wishes,
    Cindy

  • Buffy  says:

    And when I am away, I am a drone. I function, I say all the right words and use the right facial expressions,but I am waiting until I see you again to truly be alive again. I lived the majority of my life as a drone, completing the shoulds and the ought tos and the needful things of existence… but since I have known you, it’s hard to go back to just existing.

    I like being a muse (not your only muse, to be sure). I love hearing your stories (or reading them). And your other muses, when they are away, do not realize, I think, how much they miss or how much they are missed. Or perhaps they do… but they must fulfill other duties before having the pleasure of rejoining you, inspiring you… not unlike me.

    I count the hours.

  • Death Knight [Dk]  says:

    That was amazing…! Ah.

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