Monthly Archives November 2010

THIS Is All There Is

Each time I went to the doctor with a symptom, they found a problem, we fought it, we fixed it.I’d get better, move on with my life, until the next time I had a symptom. Then I’d go to the doctor, they’d find it, fix it, and life moves on.

So it’s been hard the past several years having tons of symptoms but not being able to find out what is wrong with me, no diagnosis, no fix, no getting better. Each test was more expensive and more painful than the last, and no answers, no diagnosis that stuck, no treatment that worked long term.


I have been diagnosed with a lot of things over the past four years or so, some diagnoses sticking and some being ruled out when treatment didn’t improve anything. The ones that didn’t stick: Lupus, Addison’s, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Cushing’s, Lymphoma, Kidney Disease, and a few others I can’t remember.


Every time I’d go to a new doctor, they would be excited. It was almost like they were eager to diagnose me, bored with colds, or common problems, checkups or flu shots...

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Measure of Success: One Person's Vision of Success is Different Than Another's

I stumbled upon a quote an internet entrepreneur–I’ll call him Mr. Pomp for the purposes of this blog, but I’ve taken a liking to calling him Napoleon to my family –who had managed to luck out a few years back with a successful company turnover, and that quote got me to thinking. Immediately after I read it, I turned to Buffy and said, “I guess he doesn’t realize that different people measure success differently. His version of success, in my eyes, would be a complete failure.”

Chances are, he would considers me a complete failure, but something tells me if he were a fly on the wall for a lazy afternoon in my living room, surrounded by all the things and people I love, looking at the backyard at the greenery and the crystal water of the pool, my dog licking my toes, sipping a cup of hot tea while watching it rain (I love rain) and realizing this is an average WORK day for me, and if Mr. Pomp could feel what I feel inside of me in those moments, he might just envy me a little bit–just a bit, you know–the next time someone is trashing him on some website, or he’s popping a pill to stay awake while 50 different people are all wanting a piece of his ass, and then popping another pill to be able to shut off his brain at night to go to sleep. Sure, some days, he probably loves his life and thinks he’s successful, but I’d venture to guess if he ever slowed down enough to really think about it, he might realize he hasn’t been measuring success very accurately.

But I’m sort of digressing…

A couple of weeks after reading him talk about his supposed ‘success’, I was talking to m...

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