All Sorts of Falling

Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

So the other day I had to go to the doctor. Yeah, I know, nothing new for me, right? Well, while I was there, we went through the regular questions… every time I go to the doc, no matter which specialist I’m going to see, they always do the same basic measurements and ask the same basic questions: weight, height, temperature, heart rate and pulse ox–then the questions: Are you in any pain today? Rate your level of pain from 1-10, with one being the least and 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Where is your pain? What medication are you taking? Why are you here today? And lastly, have you fallen any time within the past year.

Unfortunately, I have to answer yes to that. I’ve actually fallen three times in the past year, one time badly enough to require going in for x-rays–fortunately, nothing was broken. So I tell her I’ve fallen, and she says okay, and then she finishes stuff in the computer, asks a few more questions, leaves the room and we wait for 17 minutes alone. Then, the doctor comes in and we were talking to the doctor, and now, about 20 minutes after the nurse left, she comes back in and says she has to put a yellow ‘fall risk’ bracelet on me.

Now, wait a minute… 1) I’m in a wheelchair. 2) I’ve been there at their clinic now for nearly an hour total without the fall risk bracelet and no one has said a thing about it. 3) What are they going to do, watch me fall down and say, “Oh, yeah, there’s the bracelet. It’s right. She was a fall risk, yup.”

I mean… I understand in the hospital itself that being a fall risk means you can’t (aren’t supposed to) get out of bed without assistance. But realistically, that never happens anyway, ’cause if, on 120mg IV Lasix, I had to wait for the nurse to help me get out of bed and walk me to the bathroom only five steps away every time I had to pee, she wouldn’t get much work done. Plus, at my height and my weight, with the nurses on my shirt all being tiny little things, I’m promising you, if I go down, all I’ll do is take the nurse down with me, and if I land on her, I might crush her to death. But hey, the hospital is the right place to be when crushed by a swollen, fluid retaining hormonal woman, right?

Fall risk, my arse… I took that bracelet off the minute I got outside, but I have to laugh, seriously, at them making me wear a fall risk bracelet while I’m in the wheelchair… sheesh.

FALLING IN LOVE

The second thing I want to share this bright and early morning is a little something about love. I was reading through some posts on Facebook and George Takei has this awesome Facebook page where he posts some really funny and great stuff, so I found this link to this article about Erwynn and Will. You can read the short version, but I strongly encourage you to read the long version too–if you can stay completely stoic through the story, then you’re stronger than I am. The vows to the kids in particular really got to me.

Every time I post something that others might consider pro-gay, I lose a friend or two on Facebook. With nearly 5,000 friends, that’s easy enough to say maybe it wasn’t because of what I posted, but I have to wonder sometimes, because the correlation is there. That’s really fine with me, as I don’t need people on my friends list who aren’t into tolerance and acceptance of all people, and who don’t find love itself beautiful no matter the form it takes. I’m okay with someone who thinks or feels differently from me, as long as they are willing to live and let live and allow those who think differently than them to share in the same rights as everyone else.

The right to happiness exists for everyone, as long as that right doesn’t infringe on someone else’s rights along the way. Gayness or straightness doesn’t harm anyone… sexual orientation doesn’t damage any other person. It’s not anyone’s business but those who share and experience it. I don’t want anyone butting in on my relationship, my marriage, my friendships, what I choose to eat for dinner, what television show I watch, how I raise my kids, or the way I walk my dog. It’s no one’s concern but mine as long as I’m not hurting anyone–and no one can tell me that loving someone, mutually,  consensually, harms anyone.

Falling in love is a lot more fun, regardless of gender, than falling down on your ass–trust me, I’ve done both. I much prefer one to the other… don’t ask me which one though. It changes from day to day.

Hey, love can be a pain in the ass, you know (and I am not making an euphamstic innuendo there, I assure you)… but then, falling on your ass doesn’t really feel that good either, though it more hurt my back then my arse end. Of course, you know, at home, I didn’t have one of those nifty fall risk bracelets. Gosh, darn it all… maybe that’s why I feel! I should have been wearing one of those bracelets!

FALLING THROUGH THE SKY

So son, my youngest child, will turn 18 this month… on the 30th of July, and now that I’ve made it this far and have finally gotten him ‘officially’ into adulthood, he wants to go and jump out of a plane and get himself killed. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, that is what he said he wanted–he wanted to jump out of an airplane. My mother compounded the desire by offering to PAY for him to jump out of an airplane! Sheesh, it’s a conspiracy–they are both trying to get my son killed!

But on a more serious note, since he’s still a sr. in high school this coming up year, he still had to get my permission to do this, or else I’ll take his truck away from him forever! Ha! I love having the power over the truck! But I agreed to allow him jump out of a plane, as long as he promised NOT to get himself killed. So stay tuned… sometime next week, he’ll be jumping tandem out of an airplane, and I’ll post video of it on YouTube and link to it here when I do!

FALL INTO A GOOD NOVELLA

My novella, CELESTE, is on sale this weekend for FREE! I’ve already made a couple of Amazon.com’s best sellers lists, and I’m very excited about that! I hope to get some more reviews from it, but we’ll see. For now, if you want to read it for free, the digital version is available here to read on Kindle, or Kindle for PC, if you don’t have a Kindle device. If you pick up your copy now, it’ll be free for you forever, but it will only be free to pick up this weekend! And you’ll help me get into the top 100 best sellers too, which would be awesome! Thanks in advance for those who go and thanks to those who already have gone! Ya’ll rock!

Love and stuff,
Michy

 

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5 comments to All Sorts of Falling

  • Rissa  says:

    I hate those fall risk things! Hello, I fell before I had cancer- I am a klutz. But yes, if you mention you fell once in the last year then bam, you are a fall risk. Wanted to kick the nurse who made me wear one.

    • Michy  says:

      But Rissa, I was in a wheelchair, had been there an hour already and was a doctor’s OFFICE, not the hospital! I wasn’t planning on walking anywhere or getting up out of a bed or anything! It was just silly!

  • Magena  says:

    The humiliating fall bracelet has been slapped on me before too. I fell because of a hole in the ground. I was not a fall risk! What is wrong with this world? Hope your son has a blast!

  • Nurse  says:

    Colored or marked bracelets are put on patients for many reasons, including drug allergies, DNR and fall risks. They are used so that any member of the healthcare team that enters that room can better help the patient. In your case, a fall risk bracelet was used to identify you as someone who should be kept at lower heights and secured as much as possible, not to embarrass you or because of any mystical properties. When someone is marked as a fall risk, it is to ensure that as many precautions are put in place as possible to keep that person safe. Also, for the record, most patients are larger than their nurses. We are all trained to slide falling patients down our bodies to the floor- which I have done successfully with patients more than twice my size without injuring either of us. Be polite to your nurses- we are all overworked, understaffed, and most truly want to help you.

    • Michy Devon  says:

      I AM nice to nurses. In fact, most of the time, I treat the nurses better than I treat the doctors, and I really treat them all pretty good.

      I am not knocking the system–but this wasn’t a hospital. This was a clinic appointment, in which I was in a wheelchair and would not be getting out of that wheelchair, and the bracelet was put on me as I was leaving, after I had been there for the entire appointment, and the only thing I was there for was a finger poke for a PT/INR anyway. They’d already poked my finger, read the results, and we were just waiting for the printer queue to print out my next appointment date, and were simply chatting with the doc — it was just silly and a waste of time and trouble at that point to bother with it.

      But mostly, I really was just meaning to be humorous… really.

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