Classic Michy: Thank You Very Much, Have a Nice Day

Found this old blog post of mine I wrote a few years back when I was still blogging on MySpace… thought I’d share it here again. This was from, probably, 2006.

~~~

So the time to renew my GamePass membership came round on the 9th of May. I renewed it for a full year. I use those ‘free’ monthly games to, yes, I’m going to say it – to bribe my son to do his schoolwork.

Hey, don’t judge. If it gets him to do algebra, it’s worth it.

Well, the gaming company authorized my credit card for the annual membership in the amount of $89.99 – twice.

That was on May 9th. Today, On May 12th, one authorization cleared and settled, but the other one remains on my account, lingering there like an unwelcome guest to a party who stays after all the other guests have gone and offers to help you clean up, when in reality, they are looking for a place to crash for free for the night.

What I mean is, the first authorization settled and paid, but the second charge is still pending, unreleased, lowering the credit limit on the card.

So I email the bank and ask them to release the authorization. They email back telling me to tell the other company to call them. I email them again saying, “Common sense says that if the first authorization cleared and paid, the second one should come off.” They sent back an email saying to have the other company fax them.

Well, now I don’t know what to do – fax or phone – decisions, decisions. It was so nice of them to give me that choice though. Wish they’d told me what number or fax number the other company should use.

So on the 13th, I called the game company and was told by a man who over-enunciates his words because he is trying to sound American, when we all know he is not, that in about three days, that authorization will drop off my account and I don’t need to do anything, and thank you very, very much for calling and how much he appreciates me and my business and how he hopes he’s been so helpful to me and how very sorry he is and how he does apologize repeatedly for my inconvenience and he hopes I have a nice day.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Uh, no, uh, thanks, I think.”

So, it has now been seven days and the charge, thank you very much I appreciate your assurance and hope you have a nice day, still sits authorized on my account.

So this morning, on a whim, I decide to call… let’s see what I can do about getting the authorization removed. The first man I spoke to was named Steve, but I assure you, he didn’t sound like any Steve I’ve ever known. After reassuring me many times in his over-enunciated English, “Yes, ma’am, thank you very much, I understand your concern, and I appreciate your problem and I will help you, thank you very much,” alas, he couldn’t help me, and asked for my persmission to put me on hold while he talked to his supervisor.

Steve came back and said very clearly enunciated, “Thank you very much for holding Ms. (name I won’t tell you). I appreciate your patience and thank you for holding for me. I do understand your problem and I spoke to my supervisor and we want to help you. Please can I have your permission to transfer your call to my supervisor? Thank you very much.”

Uh. Wonder what he would do if I’d said no? No, Steve, you do not have my permission to transfer me to your supervisor – now what are you going to do?

But, I’m a nice person, so I smiled, chuckled to myself and said, “Okay.”

Then he said, “Thank you very much Ms (insert my last name), I appreciate that. I understand your problem and I’m going to transfer you to my supervisor now, but before I do, I thank you for calling RealArcade and again my name is Steve. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“No, thank you, Steve.”

“Well, okay, Ms. (insert name), thank you very much and thank you very much for calling and you have a nice day, and please hold for me to transfer you to my supervisor and thank you very much.”

Pause. Pause.

“Okay, thank you very much,” Steve says.

Pause. Pause

Listener on hold music.

I mean, if I’d said anything else to him, he would have spent the rest of the morning thanking me very much.

Long story short, too late I know, Steve’s supervisor couldn’t help me, but he thanked me very much, but not as much as Steve did, so apparently, one of the benefits of being a supervisor is that you do not have to be as thankful.

But supervisor thanked me and then transferred me to Level 2, or maybe it was Tier 2, support.

Ah! Person 3, his name is Eric, he’s American… speaks English as his first language. Humm, sexy voice… Whoohoo! But alas, even he can’t help me. So what’s he going to do? Use BUZZ WORDS! Yes, our non-English speaking natives over-enunciate, and our English speaking support uses buzz words!

He’s going to ESCALATE this to an ACCOUNTS SPECIALIST who will have to pull a bank statement and something else along with slaying two dragons and then throw the ring in the firepit, and then and only then will she be able to send a fax to my bank to tell them to release the authorization.

Translation: It’s not his problem, so he’s going to send an email to the girl down the hall asking her to take care of it for him.

Well…. he said he’d send me an email letting me know when he escalated it. Then he’d send me an email letting me know when the dragon faxed it… (ahem) I mean, the accounts specialist properly escalated the issue.

I got the first email. Still waiting on the second one saying it’s a done deal. Then to make matters worse, it could take the rest of the day today to get this ‘escalation’ done, and then my bank says they take 48-72 hours to respond to faxes received… so by the time this gets taken care of, the price of gas will have increased to the point that this $89.99 won’t buy one gallon of diesel for the truck.

Total time: 1 hour 25 minutes.

Maybe I should bill them for my time?

Nah, they would just call me back and tell me, “Thank you very much for sending your bill, we appreciate that you think we should pay you and we apologize for any inconvenience and we understand your concern and will escalate this to our sanitation department for appropriate action. We appreciate your business and thank you very much for calling and have a nice day. Thank you very much.”

Ya’ll have a nice day, thank you very much. I’m off to go get poked with some needles.

Love and stuff,
Michy

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

One comment to Classic Michy: Thank You Very Much, Have a Nice Day

  • English Essay  says:

    Pretty! This was an incredibly wonderful article. Many thanks for
    providing these details.

Leave a reply

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>