There is only one thing that gets me feeling negative and that is negativity. Go figure, right? But really, let me explain. I stay pretty upbeat most of the time. I try to laugh every day. I try to find joy and abundance in even the smallest of things, and most of the time, I’m fairly successful at this. I used to be much better at it. There was a time, about four or five years ago, for a couple of years, when everything was pretty upbeat and positive in my life. It showed in my writing. It showed in my appearance. It showed in my life.
Then my health took a turn for the worse, and I have to say, when you’re battling an ‘invisible illness’ that even doctors don’t know what it is, boy can that wear you down fast. Then the typical, it’s all in your head, maybe you’re depressed, well, you’re almost middle aged, and so on and so forth… stupid, but yeah. Then your body changes, and your mind changes and your life changes. And it’s hard to stay positive, but I tried.
Then I almost died. Twice. Maybe three times. Multiple lengthy hospital stays, multiple painful and torturous procedures. My body has changed so much I don’t recognize myself any more. I can’t look in the mirror and see anything that reminds me of me. And that’s tough. Tough, tough stuff.
And yet, I still try to laugh every day. You can read more about my health adventures of living with a terminal illness on my blog Dying To Live. (<—just click there).NEGATIVITY BREEDS NEGATIVITY
But that’s all beside the point now. I try to be positive and upbeat as much as possible, and I found the only thing that really gets me down any more is going to the doctor and negativity. But I don’t mean ordinary negativity. I mean, negative negativity that hits in that spur of the moment, before something has happened. Expectant negativity. And then the negativity that hits in the moment after that negative thing has happened, that perpetuating negativity. Those things get me down. Those things make me frustrated, both with myself when I do it and with others when they do it.
Let me explain. You wake up in the morning and you’re late for work. You start your day off bad, with a negative though, Crap, I’m going to be late, today is going to be a terrible day, SHOCKWAVE–you send out that negative energy, that negative thought, and it’s like placing an order for a bad day from the universe and the universe will serve it right up to you, nice and cold on a platter with no silverware to eat it with, and it will be bland, and awful and you’ll have to eat every bite.
And with each bite, you’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, sending out more shockwaves or negative energy, and ordering more negative things into your day. Before you know it, your day will be over, and you’ll come home, and you’ll throw your stuff on the floor, fall face first on your bed and say, “See, I knew it was going to be a bad day…”
YOU CAN CHANGE NEGATIVITY
But you could have stepped outside of that at any moment and changed the entire day. You chose not to. And you got just what you ordered.
A friend of mine recently came into a chunk of unexpected money. Said friend was living well, bills paid off, buying some much needed things, a little bit of spending on luxury stuff (because that is so crucial with unexpected money–you must ALWAYS spend a little luxury–it’s a law!), and then, the money ran out and said friend says to me, “Well, it’s over. All the money is spent.”
Wow. Well, you know, if you put that out there to the universe, that’s exactly how it’s going to come back to you. It will be over. But why do that? Why DO that to yourself? It doesn’t have to be over. You have the memories of the fun times you spent dining with that money. you have the new things you bought with that money. You have the peace of mind that your bills are all now current and you can continue to work to keep them that way instead of continuing to work just to catch up. It’s not over, not by a long shot, and when the money runs out, that’s the most powerful time to send out gratitude to the universe for what you have!
The universe will work to bring you more to be grateful for it you let it.
A friend of mine said to me the other day before going out shopping, “It’s going to be so crowded and busy and horrible out there…” and I said, “Yeah, it will, because you just placed that order with the universe. Now, why did you go and do that to yourself?”
I have another friend who gets really negative every time before she calls her mother, always going through in her head all the things she fears her mother might say or comment on or want to talk about that she doesn’t want to discuss with her, and sure enough, she almost always gets exactly what she expected. Then she turns to me and says, “See? I was right.” And I would turn back and say, “Maybe if you instead thought of all the good things you could tell your mother, all the happy things that make you feel good about yourself, and put that in your mind before you called, you would be right about that too.”
Ha. We manifest powerfully. We choose what we manifest. It’s really pretty simple.
It’s not always easy. But it’s really pretty simple.
HAVE YOURSELF A NEGATIVE LITTLE CHRISTMAS
Now, I want to talk about negativity and the holidays. There is nothing inherently wrong with the holidays. Quit being negative about them. They are a time for love and peace and joy and sharing and gifts and friends and family and food. And if you don’t have friends, family and food, then try to find some peace and joy somewhere in this world. You have love, because I love you. And there are others who loves you. And no matter what you think, there are people around this world who pray and send out energy and love and light to people just like you, people they don’t know, have never met, will never met, but you are in their hearts. Maybe not by name, but by intent and will and deed and faith and love and spirit.
So reach out for that energy. Reach out for that love. Feel it, hold on to it, and use it to pull yourself up to a better place. If you need something, ASK FOR IT. Ask the universe, ask your friends, and trust that it will come to you. Because if you let it, if you intend it, it will. If you need someone to talk to, comment on my blog, let’s talk. Comment on my FB wall. Send me an email. Let’s talk… talk to someone. Feel the love, and don’t be alone. You’re only alone by choice. BY CHOICE. And if you are honest with yourself, you will see that is true.
I’ve been alone. I’ve been surrounded by people and still been alone. I know for a fact, alone-ness is by choice. Choose differently.
And to those who have an abundance of love and light and energy and gratitude, share it far and wide, because these are the only elements in the universe in which you must give them away freely and overabundantly in order to get them back in return. Don’t hoard them. Share and share wide. Share and share alike.
HOLIDAYS AND GRIEVING–WE ALL DO IT SOMETIMES
Also, if you’ve lost a loved one or a beloved pet, I know the holidays are hard sometimes, especially when it happened around the holidays. I also have lost people around the holidays, both through death or through other losses (and yes, divorces and breakups can be as painful in the moment as death–so give yourself time to grieve), but keep the focus on the wonderful, good memories, and the bright future that’s ahead and not on the loss. It’s tough, but you can share the things you do love about someone without getting mired in the negative.
Several years ago, I was dating a guy who I’d been in an on-again-off-again nearly ten year relationship, and we finally called it quits, like completely called it quits, about three days before Christmas. It sucked, because I had already had our Christmas with him, given him all this presents, and we split up the next day. His best friend hugged me and told me the guy was a dick…LOL I couldn’t help but laugh, but it was a sad Christmas that year. I had to go to my father’s house that evening, and I cried myself all the way the 50 miles there. And yet, I look back on that as a time of toughening in my life. The man in question and I are now casual friends, though we haven’t talked in a while, but I know I could count on him for anything if I needed him for some reason, and I’m proud of how things finally ended the right way with him. The morning of Christmas Eve, after we broke up, he called me, just to see if I was okay. I knew there was a reason I’d held on to him so long–he was a good man, just not good for each other. It happens.
Breakups and being alone and not being alone and family and friends and frenimies all combine to make the holidays potentially stressful, but if you put it in perspective and realize that the disasters of today will be the funny stories and memories of tomorrow, you can get through almost anything.
My favorite holiday quote from someone I love (and I will not name names to protect the innocent, or otherwise guilty but private parties) is the following, said through clenched teeth for about the fifteenth time that holiday, “Cornish game hens are NOT… little… chickens….”
BEST AND WORST AND GIVING A GIFT
The holidays can bring out the very best and the very worst in people, and when you mix too much food, too much drink, and too much family–things CAN get bumpy, but they don’t have to. You choose.
Now, if you want to make my holiday a little brighter, give me a small token Christmas gift that would mean the world to me, go pick out one of my books (you can see a listing of the most recent ones over there —–> and buy one (you might have to scroll up a little bit to see them). You have no idea how much each sale of a book means to an indie author, and it would make my holiday rock to blow my sales records out of the water–and each book sold moves me up in the sales ranks, so that maybe more people will see and read and enjoy my work, and perhaps I can pay for some of my own Christmas cheer, or at least my medication and doctor’s visits, so I’m not breaking my family’s bank and am contributing where I can. It’ll cost you less than three bucks (and sometimes less than 2) to buy any one of my books, and it would mean the world to me. If none of my books look interesting, do me a favor and find an indie author’s whose books do look interesting, and plop down a few bucks on a book. I can’t tell you the difference it will make to them (or to me! waving!)
My gift to you? Well, two of my books are now permanently free. You can read the short story EMPATH, which is only 10 pages or so long, but packs a punch at the end, for completely free, any time you want. And THREE: A Family Affair is a steamy erotic novella, that just went permanently free too. Get your copy today, and it won’t cost you a penny–and then go buy one of my other books. THREE: Monogamy Multiplied is the second in the series of THREE books, so maybe you’ll want to pick it up next.
Merry Christmas to all my friends who survived the ‘end of the world’. I love and need you all.
Love and stuff,