WARNING: This Blog Contains Language!

WARNING: In order to bring you this blog, this post will use language.

While language of some sort is essential for communication, Language is known by the State of California to cause cancer. If you live in California and you continue to read this blog, you agree to hold Michy and her affiliates harmless for any milk that snorts through your nose. Plus, you should also know that just about everything is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

Hello, my bloggy friends!

Well, by the time I get this post sent, it will probably be afternoon for most of you. Which brings me to emails… (It doesn’t, but I couldn’t find a good segue into that one.)

I never just randomly add someone to my friends list on social networking sites. Many of the folks I’m friends with are fellow writers who have added me. Some are people who read my books and articles and then add me. Some are just random adds and a few are real-life friends.

But until recently, I never really tried to add anyone. Last night, I went on a search specifically for people who like to read, write, or perform humor and comedy. I needed a good laugh.

I’m awfully curious about an interesting phenomenon that occurs whenever I do take a moment to add a few thousand people to my friends lists.

People are paranoid.

Not only are they paranoid, but they are constantly in search of an ulterior motive. So what is Michy’s ulterior motive for having people on her friends list? Well, I guess in a way, you can say I do have an ulterior motive. I like it when people read what I write. More than anything, I like it when my writing strikes a chord with someone, makes them think, makes them laugh, makes them cry.

If I’ve done that, then I’ve done my job.

I write because it’s who I am, not because it’s what I do.

I write for me, but without you guys to read it, the joy of writing would be lost and I’d be stuck only in the passion of writing. That’s a dangerous place for a writer to be for long.

Which brings me to the emails I received after my adding spree…

I was asked several questions. Thought I’d share a few here with you guys.

The first one was:

“You blog all the time (I saw your other blogs too). Doesn’t your boss get mad at you for using the internet at work? I’d be fired if I blogged as much as you do at work!”

After reading this email, I decided to ask my boss whether or not she got upset when I blogged while at work.

She’s such a bitch!

Here, let me show you a picture of her, so you understand what I’m talking about:

She reminds me of someone…I could swear I’ve seen that picture somewhere before.

Oh yeah! That’s Me!

You see, for almost twelve years now, I have worked from home and am my own boss.

What do I do, you ask?

I’m so glad you asked!

Well, if you have to ask that, then you haven’t read my profile, have you? I’m a writer -an editor – and an all around amazing person!

I also have zero ego. You could tell that, couldn’t you?

Okay, the next three emails all said the same thing: “Do I know you?”

My answer: No.

Then I had one guy who said: “I’m sorry, but I only add people I know [an] person.”

I thought I was a person.

He’s right. I’m not *in* person; I regularly have out of body experiences.

Well, maybe not ‘out of body’, but Mr. Michy does know what it takes to make my eyes roll up into the back of my head. He also knows where, when stuck on maximum verbosity, my mute button is located, too. Bet some of you are wishing you knew where that was as well, but not for the same reasons.

So I have no problem with this guy not accepting my add request. Don’t want anyone on my list who doesn’t want to be there or who doesn’t enjoy reading what I write or share. But when I went to view his profile, he had 1732 friends on his list. Now, are you really trying to convince me, dude, that you know 1732 people in person?

Man, I’m glad I’m not you. My small handful of friends in real life keep me busy and take up a lot of my time (I can be a bit of a recluse sometimes). But nearly 2000 friends in real life?

Christmas must be expensive for you.

Yeah, I think he doth stretch the truth a tad.

Anyway, the whole thing brought up some interesting questions…

Some people seem truly paranoid when I add them as a friend. They want to know why I added them, but my favorite question is: “How did you find my profile?” Well, you see, one summer, at band camp… Actually, I found this map, in a cave, and I trekked across a desert, into a forest, forged a river, and climbed two mountains, and when I made it to the other side of the mountain, there, in front of me, was the reward I had sought so long – your profile was waiting for me in a golden box on the other side!

I mean, you’re on Facebook with a public profile. How do you THINK I found your profile?

Now, I’ll digress here (I’m trying to digress at least once in every post).

I know that perhaps asking how I found a profile is a legit question to ask. I too wonder sometimes how someone found my profile: Was I on a friend of a friend’s list? Did you Google something to find me? What terms or keyword searches did you use to bring you to my profile? These things help me understand how effective my promotional efforts are. But then again, most people aren’t promoting themselves like a writer has to promote in order to sell books.

Now, last night, I found some interesting blogs to read while I was browsing to determine who I would and would not send an add request to. A lot of these folks were those I found on the A-Z blog challenge, which I’m doing on my other blog this month. You can read it here.

I found this one awesome blog… I loved the way he wrote, the imagery he used, the humor that was there, and his take on the world in general – so I left him a comment telling him so.

I get this back: “My blog is only for my friends to read. I’ve removed your comment. Please don’t visit again.”

Well, then, there’s a nifty little feature that will lock your blog down so only your friends can read it, Mister Man. Not only that, but you can set your comments to have to be approved (like I do) or have it where only your friends can comment.

Why the hell would you have a blog out for the entire world to read if you don’t want people to read it, humm?

You cannot be a shrinking wallflower who is paranoid and post a blog out on a public forum and not expect that occasionally you might get an add request from someone you don’t personally know!

So let me clear up any confusion for you guys…

1) I do not want any naked pictures of you. (But please feel free to send naked pictures of Angelina Jolie.)

2) I will not send you any naked pictures of me, even if you beg.

3) I will not spam you. I like spam, and I’m greedy, so I’m keeping it all for myself.

4) I will never try to sell you anything, but if you want to buy my books, you can click here: MICHY’s BOOKS   (This is called irony? Perhaps? Or maybe it’s just sarcasm. Take your pick, but buy the books!)

5) The only viruses you’ll get from me would require penicillin, and I’m pretty sure the flu can’t be sent via email.

6) I will never solicit money from you, but if you are a generous philanthropist, you are free to make a charitable donation to my, “Michy Doesn’t Have a REAL Job” fund via PayPal.

7) I will not stalk you, if you provide me the same courtesy…. I prefer carrots.

8) I’ve run out of bullet points.

9) I like making lists.

10) What was I talking about?

You guys have an awesome rest of the day!

Love and stuff,


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One comment to WARNING: This Blog Contains Language!

  • Derek Odom  says:

    LOL! Who *doesn’t* want readers on their blog? What the heck? Just when I thought I’d seen most of it all..

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