In my past, I’ve had several ‘recurring’ dreams. They are never identical, but they are always similar, with elements that are clearly the same from one dream to the next. Some of these dreams make some sense to me–like my nightmare dream about the runaway elevator–I’m terrified of elevators, but this dream always takes place in a fancy hotel, with a lot of gold and red things, red carpets, red drapes, golden walls and decorations, gold tie-backs on the drapes, etc. And the elevator sometimes is the fancy one in the lobby and sometimes is a broken service elevator. When it’s the service elevator, it’s got tints of green in the dream. When it’s the main elevator, it’s all bright gold and red. In both settings, the elevator breaks and goes out of control, rolling and tumbling end over end. Something I know is completely impossible to have happen in real life. The dream leaves me terrified, nonetheless.
Then there’s the old dream I used to have, but haven’t had in ages, where I fear my house burns down and I’m left having to run outside, naked, and stand around naked, while all my neighbors watch me watching my house burn down–while I’m naked. Fireman give me blankets though, but still, I’m naked. Not sure which bothers me more–being naked in front of folks or my house burning down. Regardless, I’ve always had a fear of my house burning down.
So it is clear that the recurring dreams I remember the most are those dreams that exemplify my fears–deep fears, the irrational fears I have that make the dream a near nightmare, and yet they are fears that are very likely not ever something I would experience. I mean, I’m afraid of elevators, but they can’t go spinning end over end the way they do in my dream, so there’s no real reason to fear they would do this. And while a house CAN burn down in the middle of the night, statistically, it’s unlikely mine would ever do this–especially since I fear it. I mean, honestly, how often do your irrational fears like this every truly happen in real life? I mean, that’s part of what makes them irrational, no?
But this dream I wanted to talk about is different. This dream takes a different path each time I dream it, but regardless, I know it’s the same dream. The dream has certain components that are always the same. In the dream, I’m living in a house I lived in many years ago, my first ‘house’ to ever live in (not an apartment) after I became an adult. This house was on Sam Houston Avenue in Odessa, Texas, and I lived there for several years before I moved to Dallas. When I lived in this house, my daughter was about three years old. My son wouldn’t come along until a few years later. I lived there, in fact, until my daughter was 6, almost 7, and I was pregnant with my son. But I had moved out before my son was ever born, and he was three weeks old when we moved to Dallas.
In this dream, the house had been completely remodeled from the way it looked when I lived there, but it was still my house. Every time I have this dream, the interior of the house looks different–sometimes nice, remodeled, fancy; other times, trashy, messy and in disrepair–but it’s always the same house. Minor things change. Even the outside, because sometimes there are bushes by the windows and other times not, sometimes trees in the yard and other times not, that type of thing.
In the dream when I had it early this morning, my son was about four years old and my daughter was nowhere in the dream (which is slightly unusual for this dream, but I went with it). He is playing with kids outside, other kids about his age, and I am sitting on the front porch and watching him play. Then I walk inside and see the house and how it’s decorated and how the house has been remodeled differently from when I lived in it.
And all of that is fine. None of that bothers me. What bothers me about this dream, what leaves me feeling strange and confused, is something so simply, and yet, it bothers me so much and I can’t put my finger one why… ready for this?
One the front of the house, there are two mailboxes. One is big and brass and ornate but older, weathered a bit. The other is smaller, more boxey instead of rectangular, and while it’s metal of some sort, it’s not really brassy like the other one. These mailboxes are side by side, right by the front door, and when I check the mail, there is mail in both of them.
This bothers me. Why are there two mailboxes? Why does the mailman leave mail in both of them? I wake from the dream very confused by this, quite bothered and upset by it, and I can’t understand why.
But it doesn’t end there. I lived in another house in Odessa, one on Dixie Blvd, and last month, I dreamt about that house too, and it also had two mailboxes–a big brass rectangular one and a little square white painted mailbox with a mail slot on it. I don’t recall feeling strange about these tow mailboxes like I did in this morning’s dream–but after waking from this morning’s dream, I recalled this other dream, and somehow, that felt ‘odd’ to me. I cna’t explain the feeling–just ‘odd’.
I seem to recall two other dreams about different houses also having two mailboxes. But every single time I have this dream about this house, no matter what the main theme or message or ‘act’ is in this dream, there are always two mailboxes.
Anyone want to take a stab at what this might mean and why this house having two mailboxes and me dreaming about it would make me feel so… strange?
Love and stuff,