It’s funny the things I’ll do to keep my mind occupied. I have been mostly ‘stable’ on my health this past year. But what that means to me and what that means to someone else are actually two different things. For me, stable means I haven’t actually been admitted to the hospital any time during the past year. I still have at least three doctor’s appointments every month, just for standard care. That’s not counting little or big problems that crop up along the way.
I guess I was doing well enough that I started to think along the lines of, “Hey, maybe I could actually start doing some REAL work again…” And then I started helping out this local restaurant, doing a lot of real work for them, and I learned really fast that I am so not ready to go back to work. Not even close to it. My doctor just shook her head at me, flabbergasted I even was doing what I was doing. She sort of scolded me, in fact.
But I also learned there ARE things I can do to be productive and feel good about myself. I can write some, but not as fast or as much as I used to. But I am still writing. I got one of my biggest royalty payments from Smashwords yet. Not enough to pay the mortgage, but it was enough I could have taken my family out for a nice meal. Adjusting my priorities and dreams slightly, for now, I can be pretty happy with that.
I want to write more though. I NEED to. My brain and body and soul needs to write more.
and Conner is a rescued green cheeks conure with either the pineapple or the cinnamon mutation–we’re not sure which. When he was younger, it looked VERY pineapple. But after two molts, he looks VERY cinnamon now.
I don’t care–I love him regardless. His personality is spunky and super sweet, like a baby. He loves cuddles and kisses and will sit with me for hours and just snuggle and talk and kiss and play.
Memphis, on the other hand, is a big bird (smallest of the cockatoos (besides cockateils, which really are part of the cockatoo family), but he’s still a big boy compared to Conner), and he has the intellect of a small child. He’s super smart and into absolutely everything. And worse yet, he throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. So far, a time-out by letting him sit in his cage and rest for a while has been quite effective. Not using the cage as punishment but more giving himself (and me) a much needed break. He needs stimulation and a lot of it–and I’m having fun with him. He’s so smart it’s scary sometimes.
It’s a learning curve for us both–a painful one for me right now: spent a couple of hours at the emergency clinic getting my fingers x-rayed because Mr. Memphis snapped one of them. It’s part of it. And then, suddenly, like over night, he changed. Hasn’t bitten since, and he is sweet and cuddles and is giving kisses. I don’t know what changed, but I’m sure happy it did.
I hope I can do right by him and keep him happy. I don’t know his whole history, but he didn’t get the best start in life, but he’s hand wonderful foster parents before me and now me as his forever home, where my kids have promised to take him if anything happens to me. I hope we keep him in the family (they can live for a long, long time, like 60-90 years) and since I’m already in my 40s, it’s likely he’ll outlive me, even though we don’t know how old he is right now. Anyway, I’ve already added him and Conner to my will. Just in case.
They are, after all, like children to me, and I want them to go to someone who understands how much I love them and will do their best to do the same. My kids adore them. I hope they have children who adore them too.
My anxiety is rearing its ugly head again–and it’s bad this time. I’m going to talk about that more on the health blog over here (click if you’re interested). I have some news on that front, so I’ll try to talk it out through writing it out.
For now, I just wanted to update briefly and then make an effort to come in here more often and update the blogs. It helps get my fingers tapping and maybe will help me get to writing more. I have several books that are so close to finished… I need to get on that. I have people waiting for books in a series! They deserve those books and endings!
Time to get to it!
Love and stuff,