Category Kidbits

Best of Michy (2007): Good Girls Go to Heaven, Brat Boys Say Anything

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(This was originally posted in 2007, on an old Myspace blog I had, but I ran across it the other day and laughed so hard remembering this conversation, so I thought I’d share it with you again today on this blog, since many of you didn’t ‘know’ me then. Hope it makes you chuckle too!)

We had some internet issues, and my internet is with my cable company, so the cable/internet man was at my house working on my cable lines. While that was happening, my son decided to have a fun conversation with me. He told me he was going to buy a mansion. I asked him first if I was going to get to live in it, and he said yes, but that he was going to charge me rent. Isn’t that so sweet of him?

Then I asked him how he proposed to pay for this fancy mansion he was going to charge his dear old mother rent to ...

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All Sorts of Falling

Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

So the other day I had to go to the doctor. Yeah, I know, nothing new for me, right? Well, while I was there, we went through the regular questions… every time I go to the doc, no matter which specialist I’m going to see, they always do the same basic measurements and ask the same basic questions: weight, height, temperature, heart rate and pulse ox–then the questions: Are you in any pain today? Rate your level of pain from 1-10, with one being the least and 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Where is your pain? What medication are you taking? Why are you here today? And lastly, have you fallen any time within the past year.

Unfortunately, I have to answer yes to that. I’ve actually fallen three times in the past year, one time badly enough to require going in for x-rays–fortunately, nothing was broken. So I tell her I’ve fallen, and she says okay, and then she finishes stuff in the computer, asks a few more questions, leaves the room and we wait for 17 minutes alone. Then, the doctor comes in and we were talking to the doctor, and now, about 20 minutes after the nurse left, she comes back in and says she has to put a yellow ‘fall risk’ bracelet on me.

Now, wait a minute… 1) I’m in a wheelchair...

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Common Sense

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(Here’s a story I wrote based on something that my son really did back in about 2006. I wrote it back then, but I’m not sure much has changed since then…lol Enjoy. Don’t laugh too hard at his expense!)

The grocery store had a good sale on some of those pre-prepared casserole dishes, like lasagna, and Mexican chicken casserole, and those types of things. They were three for 10 bucks. Really, you can’t beat that for a night when you don’t feel like cooking but still want something better than fast food. Plus, I figured it would be easy for the kiddo to make himself.

What was I thinking?

I mean, how many blogs have I posted about the brat boy nearly burning the kitchen down? Still, he’s almost fourteen (he’s seventeen now, almost eighteen!) and should be able to cook some things for himself, right? Plus, those pre-packaged meals have very easy to read and clear instructions on them, don’t they?

Don’t they?

Well, okay, so I figured I’d let him cook dinner last night...

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How to Feed a Teenaged Boy

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Today, Michy would like to instruct you on how to help your teen child prepare a snack for himself. We’ll take you step by step through the process, and if you skip any steps, it’s okay to come back to them and use them, or even use some of the steps more than once.

Step 1

Listen to the boy whine for at least 40 minutes about how hungry he is, while you tell him repeatedly that there is food in the kitchen if he’s hungry.

Step 2

Remind teenaged boy that you bought Easy Mac for him in the cabinet for moments just like this, when he was hungry but it wasn’t dinnertime.

Step 3

Listen to teenag...

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I’m Not THAT Michelle Devon

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For the longest time, my pen name, Michelle Devon, which is my real first name and my son’s middle name as my last name, which is now a legal name for me, was distinct enough, I never ran into anyone else with this name. I got the name Devon from an episode of Dragnet. My son’s name originally was going to be Aleck Brent. Back on July 29th, 1994, I started to have contractions that morning. It was a Friday and I had a doctor’s appointment. He asked me how I was doing and I said, “I’d be fine if these contractions would just stop.”

The doctor laughed and said, “No, what we want to do is string them closer together…”

I said, “That might be what YOU want me to do, but I never said it was what *I* wanted to do.”

He laughed; I didn’t. Ha ha...

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A Lightsaber in My Bathroom: A Writing Prompt

I wrote this several years ago and posted it on my Myspace blog at the time when I still had a Myspace blog. But I was going through some of my old blog posts, I found it, and wanted to share it here again, because I think this is a fun writing prompt. So read it, and then in the comments, or in your own blog and leave me a link in the comments, do the writing prompt yourself!

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It’s true… this morning, when I woke, groggy, sleepy and wishing I didn’t have to get up to pee, I stumbled into my bathroom and tripped over a plastic lightsaber.

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It Was a Very Merry Day

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When my daughter was three years old, I was a single and broke mom. I was going to college, working an overnight job and sleeping during the day while my daughter was in pre-school.

This first picture is our Christmas tree. Last year was my first year to have a real Christmas tree since my children were very little. We’d always used an artificial tree. Being a broke single mom, I scavenged every year to find ‘new’ ornaments and such and we used a lot of tinsel and garland on our artificial tree in order to keep it looking full and not sickly.

Last year, we paid about $50 bucks and got a 9′ real tree, I think it was a Douglas Fir. I loved it. It was beautiful and real and sweet smelling and just lush and gorgeous…

… for about three days...

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Brat Boy’s Halloween

Here’s brat boy and the brat dog for Halloween… as you’ll clearly see, the brat dog doesn’t like Halloween costumes! Halloween was full of a...

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