Category Tidbits, Kidbits & Kibble Humor

How a Cup of Coffee Got My Entire House Clean

(Originally written on my blog in 2006, when life was quite a bit different for me, but the whole thing is true!)

1419443_34313465Sleep is for sissies…

Which is why I’m about to go take a nap. I just wanted to pop in here first and explain to you the mysterious and wondrous attributes that are in a cup of coffee….

Yes, ladies and gentlemen – I will tell you the amazing story of how one cup of coffee got my entire house cleaned!

I really think that it started last night when I couldn’t sleep. With the central A/C out right now, and temperatures in the low 90s, night time is quite uncomfortable. Around 2 am it cools off enough with the windows open to relax, but before that, I find yourself laying naked on the bed, trying hard not to move and so help me if a blanket covers any part of me, with the ceiling fan on – just hoping for a slight breeze to blow your way. Sometimes around 2:30 am, during Murphy Brown on Nick-at-Night, I do believe I fell asleep.

Well, 5:30 am comes early.

And it s...

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Classic Michy: Thank You Very Much, Have a Nice Day

Found this old blog post of mine I wrote a few years back when I was still blogging on MySpace… thought I’d share it here again. This was from, probably, 2006.

~~~

So the time to renew my GamePass membership came round on the 9th of May. I renewed it for a full year. I use those ‘free’ monthly games to, yes, I’m going to say it – to bribe my son to do his schoolwork.

Hey, don’t judge. If it gets him to do algebra, it’s worth it.

Well, the gaming company authorized my credit card for the annual membership in the amount of $89.99 – twice.

That was on May 9th...

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Pregnancy is a Sexually Transmitted Disease

Okay, so last night, or maybe it was early this morning, I forget which, I was drifting in and out of sleep and this commercial for some type of breast cancer prevention medication came on.

You know how commercials for drugs usually list all these warnings on them, kinda of like used car ads have all that legal fine print where the announcer speaks really, really fast? Well, on drugs, the fine print are usually the negative side effects of the drug, right?

This one said: “You shouldn’t take this medication if you are at risk for pregnancy.”

Okay, I understan...

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Words are Powerful, But–

LANGUAGE WARNING! (THIS POST CONTAINS LANGUAGE, as all my posts do, but this one, well, it contains language that some might consider offensive. If you consider it offensive, feel free to curse me out in the comments.)

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about the power of words, whether you realize that’s what people are truly talking about or not. Words ARE powerful. Newscasters are saying things like ‘racial slurs’ instead of saying the word nigger. I wrote an article once about ‘The N-Word: Who Should Say It?” Historians should be able to use the word, because it’s history and without using it, no one knows what it is. Should newscasters use the word? Well, that’s a tough one. It’s technically not included as a curse word, like fuck or shit would be, but to many (and I think I’m one of those), it’s more offensive than those words. Newscasters don’t say fuck or shit, even if they are quoting someone, they bleep that out, so should they be able to say nigger without bleeping it? This question has multiple answers depending on who you ask. Whoopi Goldberg, a black woman, says newscasters should say it if they are quoting and that saying “the N-word” makes it sound cute or funny, and it’s not. But then, on The View, the other black panelist said, paraphrasing here, that she doesn’t like it when a white person says it but it doesn’t bother her when a black person says it, and that includes using it in newscasts.

But in the end, it’s just a word...

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Beating the Odds

The odds of winning the last mega-millions big lottery that was all over the news were something like 1 in 176 million chances of winning. That’s pretty long odds, right there. Yet, ever hopeful, people buy tickets to the lottery every day. Why? Because human beings seem to like playing the odds. One of the reasons hang-gliding and mountain climbing and even something as simple as roller coasters are so adrenaline pumping and exciting to people is because there is a risk of death (or at least serious injury), however small, that comes with the rush. If there were nothing to fear, there would be nothing exciting about it. You get excited because you faced risk and death, and you win… you survive. You beat the odds while staring them in the face.

We play the odds all the time: every time we get behind the wheel of the car (sober or not, driving or not), we risk death. Every time we take a new medication from a doctor that we’ve never taken before, we risk death. Every time we walk out our door, we risk death, and just staying in and doing nothing risks death in a different way. After all, did you know that more people die from accidents and injuries or illnesses that happened in their home than all other crimes and causes of death combined? Most of us, if we die, are going to start that process in the relative safety of our own homes.

The point is, we are constantly at risk of death, every one of us, and yet somehow we function every day in spite of it. We are gamblers, human beings are… yes, we are. We play the odds. We hope for the best, even though we know the odds are stacked in favor of the house, because we know, deep down, that someone is going to beat the odds. We believe, with prayer and fantasy, that we will be that someone.

And sometimes… we are. Or as my uncle said to my mom once–and you’ve probably very likely said it before yourself: Someone has to win the lottery. Might as well be me.

And yet, in the end, we all die. Every last one of us is going to die. We can’t escape that eventuality. But some of us die sooner than others. There are reasons for that. We don’t all get to live a good, long life and slip into the next plane of existence quietly in our sleep. Blessed are those who do.

BEATING MY OWN ODDS

I’ve been doing a lot of reading ...

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CLASSIC MICHY: What Makes Michy Say, “Huh?”

(This blog post originally was published in Myspace back in 2006.)

I finally broke down and let them get me a new laptop computer over the weekend. It’s fantastic! I’m working on a product review of Windows Vista though – the working title is: Windows Vista – Microsoft’s Way of Saying, “You’re Too Stupid to Use Your Computer”.

Of course, most of my awake and free time has been spent trying to transfer everything over to the new computer, set up email accounts in Outlook, and the worst part, remembering all my logins and passwords to sites that were just ‘remembered’ on the other computer. Man, it took a lot longer than I thought!

During one television channel flipping episode, there were several things that just popped into my head, and I figured I’d bore each of you who choose for some unknown reason to read my blabbering here with these thoughts. A few of these are my mindless ramblings and some are blatantly stolen from somewhere, but don’t ask me where, ’cause I haven’t a clue.

THINGS THAT MAKE MICHY GO, “Huh?”

1. Dulcolax.

Okay, I suppose that if ever I were in need of a stool softener, I would appreciat...

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Ways to Make Money Online (It’s not what you think!)

Everywhere I turn today people are wanting to turn a buck and are hoping to do it online. Unfortunately, most people don’t want to work in order to make that happen. Folks are thinking, “Hey, just pop up something on a blog, put a link here, sell this or that, and I’m going to be the next internet millionaire.”

Uhm, it don’t work that way, fool.

I’ve been making money working from home for about eleven or twelves years now or so… the first couple of years were lean, let me tell you. But once I learned the tricks of the trade, I now make a pretty decent income working from home and working online.

Today, I’m gonna share my secrets with you.

Ways to Make Money Online

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The Facebook Song, by Michy (sung to American Pie tune)

An original parody that maybe some day I’ll actually perform and put up on YouTube or something some day when I’m feeling better. For now, you’ll just have to read it and know that you can sing it to the tune of American Pie, by Don McClean. Here’s the music so you can get the tune if you don’t know it, but I think most of you will know it.

The Facebook Song, by Michy

A long, long time ago
I swore that I would never get
An account on Facebook, or any site like that
But they said if I took a chance
That I could harvest cows real fast
And maybe meet some friends from ‘89
So I logged on the Facebook page
To see how much my friends had aged
How did they get so fat?
I wonder where the men’s hair’s at…

So I clicked to send a friend request
To those who I remembered best
Some approve, ...

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