Category Personal Tidbits

It’s Always the Little Things

In 2011, I rushed to the hospital barely able to breathe with chest pains. When I got there, the lady doing the intake was quite rude–it’s one of those little things I remember–and while my best friend was trying to tell her what was wrong, she bluntly said, “I need HER to tell me, MA’AM.” It was quite curt. My friend said, “If she could breathe, she might be able to talk….”

Finally, I put my hand up and said, “Chest pains,” between breaths.

Suddenly, the room spun and everyone jumped. I was already in a wheelchair and they began pushing me to the back quickly and yelling at  my friend to follow while yelling ahead, “We have chest pains in 108!”

I jokingly say that if you want to get treated in the hospital ER quickly, ju...

Read More

This is Who I Am

mirror-1548409The other morning, I sat in the bathroom, on the toilet, and stared at myself in the mirror. There isn’t much else to do on the toilet in this bathroom, you know, if you don’t bring your phone with you.  I’m not sure I was really using the toilet as much as I was still half asleep and didn’t want to actually stand up and move. I was leaning against the wall, and I think it was holding me up. Hell, I might even have fallen asleep. But when I when I’m awake and using this bathroom, I often avoid eye contact in the full wall mirror in behind the sink–yes, even with myself–so I don’t have to actually SEE myself.

Why? Because I hate the way I look.

And to be fair, if this is how I’d always looke...

Read More

Why I Don’t Blog Much Any More

13423874_1073458316070045_6870175784010005492_nI was sitting here the other day wondering why it’s been so long since I’ve posted a blog. I was rummaging through my drafts–29 of them–in my posts thing over there <—- on the sidebar (no, you can’t see them), and wondering why I hadn’t ever finished the posts. So I went through and read some of the partially written posts and it finally hit me.

You see, with Facebook and the internet so readily available to almost everyone, connectivity is a big thing right now. And it’s a good thing, too, really, it is.

But there’s something very ‘exposing’ about that connectivity.

I’ll give you an example: Today, I got a letter in the mail from my ...

Read More

A Long Time Ago, In Another Lifetime

cup-of-soda-1328372“I just need to get an extension until the 15th, after that, we can pay the full amount,” I tell the woman behind the desk. He had told me to come down here to the gas company to get an extension on paying the bill. He said they would be less likely to say no if I went in person rather than going to the payphone on the corner to call, like I’ve done in the past when the bill wasn’t quite so far behind. Sure, easy for him to say, since I’m the one who had to walk the fifteen blocks in threadbare shoes in the middle of February with sleet outside to get a damned extension on the gas bill.

Can shoes be threadbare? I wonder while waiting for the woman to tap something into the keys of the large keyboard in front of the amber-colored screen of the computer monitor in front of her. When I came in here, all I wanted was an extension of a few days, but I figure asking for an extension until the fifteenth would be better. Give them something to negotiate with instead of just telling them what I really need. The woman refuses to extend me. She says I must pay at least a little bit of it right now. I feel in my pocket for the coins in there, knowing they’re not even close to enough to touch the monthly winter gas bill.

Then again, it’s unlikely Carlos* is going to have the money no matter what day I get the extension until, but it’s better to ask and do what he says than to face his wrath.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the computer won’t...

Read More

What Happened to Them?

As I sat here this morning and watched the pouring rain outside of my window, I knew I couldn’t go anywhere today. The flooding in Texas has been crazy. I’m glad we’re in the ‘burbs here in the Galveston area, so our area hasn’t been so bad. But I still haven’t been out on the streets when it’s raining like this. Everyone else has stayed put too. So ya’ll don’t worry–we’re safe.

It’s sort of nice to watch the rain, actually. I just wish I didn’t know that people are suffering and some have died from it. So if you’re in the path of these storms, please stay safe. Try not to drive, especially at night, with these flash floods.

Now, on to the point of my post this morning. While I was watching the rain, I was feeling a bit nostalgic. I went to the AWF (Accentuate Writers Forum) to see if anything new had been posted. It’s been so slow in there recently. Nobody is talking any more. I feel like Facebook is killing my forum and that makes me sad.

I still post paying writing leads, both for fiction and nonfiction, online and print...

Read More

You Told Me To Give Up

You told me to give up. You told me to let it go and walk away.

And because you don’t ever ask much of me… because you rarely are ever that adamant or demanding of me… but mostly because I know you are right and I agree with you, I am going to walk away and give up.

Because you told me to.

Because I want to.

Because it’s the right thing to do.

But I still don’t regret for one moment that I chose to try. And I don’t regret for one moment that I feel I did the right thing at the right time and for the right reasons. If someone else took my reasons, took my kindness, took my offer, took my friendship, took anything else that I gave of freely, and then used it for some other purpose than I had intended, that’s on them, not me. The karmic balance of the universe is ever in place, and I got mine coming… and so do they. And I don’t have to DO anything to make that happen or even want that to happen. I just know that’s how the universe works.

But I find it strange that you asked me to give up.

I find ...

Read More

Busy And Yet Not And Yet…

It’s funny the things I’ll do to keep my mind occupied. I have been mostly ‘stable’ on my health this past year. But what that means to me and what that means to someone else are actually two different things. For me, stable means I haven’t actually been admitted to the hospital any time during the past year. I still have at least three doctor’s appointments every month, just for standard care. That’s not counting little or big problems that crop up along the way.

I guess I was doing well enough that I started to think along the lines of, “Hey, maybe I could actually start doing some REAL work again…” And then I started helping out this local restaurant, doing a lot of real work for them, and I learned really fast that I am so not ready to go back to work. Not even close to it. My doctor just shook her head at me, flabbergasted I even was doing what I was doing. She sort of scolded me, in fact.

But I also learned there ARE things I can do to be productive and feel good about myself. I can write some, but not as fast or as much as I used to. But I am still writing. I got one of my biggest royalty payments from Smashwords yet. Not enough to pay the mortgage, but it was enough I could have taken my family out for a nice meal. Adjusting my priorities and dreams slightly, for now, I can be pretty happy with that.

I want to write more though. I NEED to. My brain and body and soul needs to write more.

The birds are helping. Memphis and Conner are amazing...

Read More

Inexperienced Football Fan

football-5-655092-mJust a short bit of humor to brighten your day that is a blast from my past with my son.

When my son was 11…he’ wasn’t much up on football. The person I was living with at the time was watching the game…my son was trying to “get into the game” and share it with him, but my son just flat didn’t understand the concept.

I’m sitting at my desk working, and here is what I am hearing in the background:

Son: So who are the Sooner’s?

Answer: Oklahoma.

Read More

Not Enough Time

Newly married, she wanted to take a honeymoon, just a short trip so they could spend time together, even if just for the weekend. When she asked him if they could, he responded, “We’ll have time for a honeymoon later. I just started this new job, and we need the money for the house.”

She was disappointed, but she understood.

A few years down the road, she said to her husband one evening, “I want to have a baby, a son or a daughter, our own little family. Can we talk about having children?”

He replied, “We’ll have plent...

Read More

Twenty (20) Things You Should Not Do!

Have any of you ever heard that Jim Croce song that goes something like this:

“You don’t tug on Superman’s cap…you don’t spit into the wind…you don’t pull the mask off the ‘ole lone ranger, and you don’t mess around with Jim….”

Well, My son loves that song – not sure why.

But that got me to thinking about things that people shouldn’t do...

Read More